Friday, October 01, 2004
Hay.....

I was forced to go to Manila after receiving a call from a school I applied. I was scheduled for an interview the next day. I reached the city at 10:00 pm. Manila was as busy as ever. People hurrying their way home. However, some are just starting their night, in the dark ally of the city, conducting their underground business.
Before going to my brother’s place (where I usually stay when I am in the city), I went to a fast-food to eat my dinner. My stomach was empty when I left and I didn’t eat anything while on the bus, so you could just imagine how hungry I am. While eating my burger and fries, I was thinking about a lot of things. Do I really want this job? What do I really want? Why is my life so pathetic? And many other questions that I could not give answers.
When I was a small girl, I always wanted to be a teacher. Now…. I don’t know. Actually I came to a realization that after finishing college I still don’t know what I really want. Funny but everybody thinks that I have a promising career as a psychologist, I believed that too. However, unfortunately, I don’t know what I want.
I can apply on different jobs related or not related with what I studied and land on the job. Never did I once doubt my confidence and my skills but the question will be….Is that what I want? At this point I know my life has no direction until I discern what is my purpose.
There is only one thing that I know will help me, it’s HIM. Last night I prayed to God to give me a sign. I ask him to clear my mind and show me the path that I should take. I trust Him.
*********



11:09 PM