Sunday, November 28, 2004
This Christmas
Hay……So many things happened some for better some for worse. Those things that will change my Christmas celebration this year. Most of these things I know happened for a reason, but I can’t help but wish that things would go back as they were before.
First, my brother. Because of the chaos that have resulted in his not so wise decision to leave his wife and kid, the whole clan decided to disinherit him. Therefore I will be spending this Christmas without my favorite brother. Despite the fact that he is bad and that my family have shut the doors of their hearts for him, I still love him and looked up to him the same as before. He was one of the elements of air that comprise the wind beneath my wings.
Second, my jobless status. This is the first Christmas that I will be spending as an adult. In our family, as long as you are in school everybody treat you like a kid. But because I have finished school already, I am considered as an adult and the financial support from my family would be less. My dilemma is that most family members think that I am one of the “smartest”, so I am pretty sure that I will be bugged by questions on how in the earth am I still jobless!!!!
Third, my bestfriends. It’s been months since my bestfriends Anne and Audrey moved to Vernon, Texas and by now I should be used not having them around. However, this would be the first Christmas that we wont be spending together. Each year they would go to our house so that I could point out and tell stories about my not-so-nice relatives and then they would bring me to their house to eat the stuff that their grandma and sister cooked!
Fourth, my first love ( yeah right! I promise this would be the last). I’m pretty much sure he wont be coming. Though I am very sure that my feelings for him deteriorated immensely for the past months, I am still gonna miss the times when he would drop by just to greet me Merry Christmas.
Last, myself. With all the changes that have happened to me, things will never be the same. In span of few months, I have grown to be more mature and gloomy that most individuals developed in years. I have so many friends who regard me as their pillar of strength and source of smile. I know I don’t have the right to show hesitation and loose hope because many people are depending on me. But sometimes I just want to break down and for once….just once…..I want to be the person being cared for.
1:57 AM