Friday, December 24, 2004
The love story that made me cry
I was watching Maalaala Mo Kaya in channel two because my sister Cristina asked me to wait for the announcement of the winners of the text promo of the show. Though I am really a sucker for romantic stuff, Jericho Rosales and Angelika Dela Cruz were not my favorite actors so I was really sure that the drama will bore me to death but I was mistaken.
Nancy and Carlos met in the province when they were just in elementary. Carlos' family was from Manila and they moved to the province because of the work assignment of his father, who was worked in an NGO studying about soil composition. On the other hand Nancy's family were native of that province. When they grew older, the two fell in love with each other and vowed not to leave each other.
One day while on their way home from school, Nancy and Carlos met an accident. Nancy was the one hit by the car. She was in coma and that Carlos was blamed by Nancy's mom for the accident. Carlos does not know what to do for he was also blaming himself for the accident. If he had any choice, he would exchange place to Nancy. He went to the church and prayed to God to save Nancy. He promised God that if He would let Nancy lived; he would give himself to Him.
Nancy woke from the coma. And after a few weeks, Nancy was good as new. But there was bad news, Carlos' dad finished his studies in the province and decided to go back to Manila. Carlos was also given a scholarship and his parents wanted him to grab the scholarship because they are not that rich and could not afford to send Carlos to school. With a heavy heart Carlos left Nancy in the province. Nancy promised Carlos that she would write him letters everyday and made Carlos promised to go back during vacations.
But things didn't turned out as Nancy planned. She was constantly writing letters to Carlos but not a single letter was replied to. Nancy's mom became mad at Nancy and asked her to stop her foolishness. Because of depression, Nancy became sick. Nancy thought that its better if she died in the accident than given that second chance without Carlos. Then Nancy realized that her family still need her so she prayed to God to be given a third chance. She prayed that she will get well and that she promised that if she would be given the third chance she would devote her life to Him. God answered Nancy's prayer. As promised, Nancy wanted to devote her life in His service as a nun. But her mother refused to allow her. But Nancy explained that it was He who gave her another chance and it is only right that she would return the favor to our God.
Though Nancy was in preparation to become a nun, she didn't forget about Carlos. She tried to find where Carlos was and she wanted to know what happened to him. Nancy learned the house where Carlos was always staying. She went there and asked for him. But Carlos wasn't there. The person whom Nancy asked was the brother whom Carlos was with. He said to Nancy that every week his sister and Carlos would go out. Nancy left with a heavy heart and buried the idea of Carlos deep in her heart and decided to pursue her vocation in becoming a nun.
Nancy received an invitation to her high school reunion. She decided to go back to their province to attend. On the bus where Nancy took on her way home, she met Carlos. Carlos was surprised to see Nancy in a nun's outfit. Nancy got off the bus and Carlos followed her. He asked her about her vocation and she answered that in a month's time she will be officially say her vow. Nancy was so mad at Carlos and she said what she have been through when Carlos would not care to write back. Nancy demand an explanation from Carlos, atleast he owe her that.
Carlos was in tears and he explained why. He recalled the time that Nancy was in coma and he asked the Lord to let Nancy lived and that he will give himself to him. And when Nancy woke from coma, he was in mixed emotions. He was happy because the most important person in his life would live, but he was also in pain because he could not be with her anymore. He promised God to give himself and he did. When Carlos went back to Manila the day he left the province, he went straight to the seminary to become a priest. And while making his vow to serve him, Nancy was still in his mind and heart.
Nancy cried at Carlos explanation. She learned that Carlos' feelings didn't changed. And that he didn't choose his future over her but instead he had chose her over himself. He had made the greatest sacrifice of his life
1:55 AM
Monday, December 20, 2004
Christmas countdown: 5 days to go
5 days to go and my pocket is still short of cash (ha! As if it came to a point that its full and over flowing!). I was making my rush Christmas shopping and I was still in the thinking mode on what to give to people close to me. I am really not good at being thoughtful, because I am kinda lazy in buying gifts and exerting extra effort to write and send cards. Well maybe this year things will be changing. While writing this, I am thinking of the things I wanted to change...my New Year's Resolution. In fairness to me ( asows! Sino ba namang hindi fair sa sarili!), I have commited to half of my New Year's Resolution.
1:35 PM
Saturday, December 18, 2004
My last love letter to you
Dear first love,
Its been awhile since we last spoke with each other. You may have forgotten about me but your memories will always linger. Many times I tried to be mad at you for hurting me. But as many times I tried, my heart keeps on forgiving you.
The love I had for you is out of hand not even fate nor destiny approved it. Nevertheless, given the chance to die and live again, I would still choose to love you, ask me and I don't know why. And I don’t know why. I have defied all reasons when my heart chose you. My friends laughed at me and I myself questioned my heart why you?
It was true that my feelings for you have deteriorated enormously for the past months but my longing is still there. Maybe it will always stay like this forever or maybe first loves are meant to be this way.
There are nights when I lie awake and wonder if I still cross your mind. And even if I did, what image of me do you see? Or how deep did my name made its mark on your heart? Was it deep as the ocean or as shallow as the writings on the sand which the waves erased easily? I know it's senseless to ask these things to you. I will only make myself look more stupid.
When the time comes that you will be completely erased and replaced by another name in my heart I will come to you and thank you. Not for loving me back but for letting me love you. One day, when my feelings for you is totally zeroed I wish we could be just like before, when we are "just friends". As of now I don't have the courage to speak to you, cause I know that you can read in my eyes what my heart conversed.
1:46 AM
Friday, December 17, 2004
My love letters
A week before Christmas and I havent made my shopping yet. There's so little time for me left. I've written letters for people close to me, so whether they receive a gift for me or not they will know I remember them this Holiday Season.
To Aira, Hanah, Mavic, Kaye and Acoy,
I' sorry I haven't visited you in school, I am "busy" arranging my life. I missed you and I wish to see you soon. One of these days I will visit you and I have so much to tell you. Dami kong updates. I really missed you guys!!
Enjoy your Christmas and Happy Holidays!
**********
To Lenie, Ice, Rio, Tem and Lanie,
Hey guy! Its been months since we last update on each other's life. Uy! Belated happy birthday to Lenie!!! Ako na ang susunod ah! Mga pare gift ko!!! Meron na ba tayong lovelife diyan???
Merry Christmas!!!! I Missed All Of You!
**********
To Dheton,
Eight years….eight long years, still postponed? Hehehehe! Don't worry I promised I will be there on your wedding. Promised me that you will introduce me to Mr. Coke, ok? Good luck on your new life and Happy Holidays!
**********
To Nal,
Ei! Cool phone!
Its’s Christmas time and as usual, we will be spending Christmas without a boyfriend. Sixteen years… and we have endured each other’s company! I would mind spending another 16 years with you. Thank you for sharing with me your friendship. Pag nagkaboyfriend ka-----magpapinom ako!!!
Merry Christmas!
***********
To Jane, Mich, Crisalee and Clint,
I really enjoyed the time we’ve spend together. I wish you will be happy. I treasure all the times we are together. You guys really made me happy! It was fun hanging out with you.
***********
To Jay,
Oi! Tol! Taknaydu mo, magtinu na ka ngening pasku! Hehehe! Balu ku kalyan mu ku ngeni, pero ala kung pegsisyan ketang gewa ku. Mas proud ku ngeni keng sarili ku. Kasi pwedi ku palang maging maganaka keng taung ali ku kakilala.
Thanks sa friendship! Tol mimingat ka!
***********
To Marnelle,
I know that you don't regularly read my blog and I know that you are busy with you work but I thank you for taking time to talk to me. You just don't know how much you make me smile.
I’m sorry if you think that I don't trust you. But that has nothing to do with me not trusting you, its just that I wasn't ready to be myself yet. You know that I was still mending my life and that I need time to be alone. I appreciate your effort to make me smile.
Tuwing sinusumbatan mo ako dahil hindi kita natatawagan pag nasa Manila ako, eh napapangiti ako. Because you make me feel that I am being cared for. I envy you because you were given the chance to see and sing with Christian Bautista in a wedding, and thanks for inviting me.
One of these days babawi din ako sa iyo. Good luck on your new career and hope to talk to you soon! I may not directly say it but I am more than glad whenever I would talk to you.
Happy holidays!
**********
To Audrey and Anne,
Before I was a really insecure girl. Though I know God blessed me with many things, I am still insecure because I was used to be referred as the 'kambal’s friend' though I never regret a moment being your friend I was still hoping that I would get out from your shadow and make a mark of my own. When I was in college, I did.
But your friendship humbles me, whenever we are together, I don't feel insecure anymore. But I still want to remember when I was still referred to be 'just your friend', because for me it was rewarding to be just associated with you more so to be your friend.
I am not a perfect person. I am mean, boastful, opinionated, and judgmental. With all the things that made other people go away, thank you for being here for me. Though we are miles away, I thank you for still keeping the communication lines open. For updating me with the things that are happening to you. Thanks for the friendship.
Auds: Thank you for the endless support that you are giving me. For giving me the nice postcards and thank you for all the things you've done for me. I really missed you and I hope you will be happy.
Anne: Sorry if I offended you with all the things that I have said. You will always be dear to me. I hope you find your happiness there.
***
1:22 AM