Wednesday, August 19, 2009
i should have known better
I don't know where to start but to say that I was hurt....
A few days ago I chatted with a person I used to consider my closest friend. Our friendship rooted way back in high school (or so I thought). I have this thing for stray and misunderstood dogs. Not that this person looks like a dog but she was so different from the rest of my classmates. Her difference is what attraed me to her. She was both popular and unpopular. Popular because she was one of the smartest girl in the history of our school; unpopular because she was anti-social. She rarely make friends and she believes that people will just use her because she is smart.
Though we went to different schools in college, I would still see them and find time to go to their school, knowing that they can't travel by themselves and visit me. My visit would be dual purpose to see them and to ask help accessing their library( their school's library is the only library that contain rare books I needed for my research).
After graduation, they have to relocate somewhere far from me. Through the distance, I still tried maintaining communication. I would call every now and then to check how is life treating them on the other side of the planet. I thought I still maintain the status of her closest friend. When she returned to our place 2 years ago, things were a lot different. I didn't receive any notice that she is back. I still have to learn from other people. I didn't mind as long as I can see them again.
When things started to turn around for both us, me having a bad career and she at her peak with more money she was drifting away. I couldn't understand how a lovelife and career could make you choose not to see your "closest" friend. Oh, well I can see that she has new friends now. But do your "friends" knew how you look when you were still ugly and crying because the guy you are like don't feel the same? Or do they know how sleazy you are with your stuff and I have to tell you how to put them in order? Or the time that you only have 5 pesos in you pocket and you opt to buy some cheap snack and walk from school? I doubt.
I know I still owe you 7 thousand pesos. I was meaning to return it to you that is why I was trying desperately to see you. But your so called "closest friend" needed a month in advance just to have an appointment with you.
I didn't know that the sweet person I use to know became a cold tramp. Of course she doesn't care if it hurts me to see that she changed. I just didn't expect it to be her. Maybe I have so much faith in her that despite her achievements she would remain the same.
I know this is bad but I wish you would loose all your money and everything you have if that is the only way to keep your feet uprooted again. I hope you still go to church.
10:09 PM