Saturday, September 24, 2005
hay...buhay....parang....life....

its been quite a while since i last updated this blog. i was too busy messing with my life and messing with other people's life too.

just recently i was having this emotional battle whether i still want to do what i am currently doing. one day i just woke up and i am in the state of evaluating my iife, my job and my relationships with people. since i graduate from college, this would be my second job that lasted for more than 2 months and on november i am expecting for regularization, so this time i have so much to loose.

i just hope that everybody is undergoing the same emotional turmoil that i am experiencing cause it sucks to be different again. i dont know whether i am loosing the excitement and all these things are becoming so monotonous to me but one week ago i was planning not to show up in work.

i had a "coaching" session with one of my former trainer, and he was nice enough to give me some advise. though it had cleared some of the clouds of doubts in mind, i am still thinking whether i wanted this job.

when you are working for money alone.....its not enough. sometimes you will want to something to cling on to your job aside from money. and that is what i am looking for these days. i am recieving a above average salary,but aside from that i am not being satisfied professionally.

whenever i will go to the province and speak with my "not so nice" relatives they would always remind me what kind of job i have even though i am earning as much as them. it really bothers me whenever they would be referring my job as a telephone operator. maybe this is one of the reason why i am uphappy with my current work status.


******
what happens to a girl who is badly hurt in the past, unintentionally hurt in the past, trying to heal the wounds but unable to do so?

she became the best buddy of everybody. am i referring to myself?(ubo! ubo!) hehehehehe probably....
i am not really that tough about the idea that i will fall in love again with somebody who will love me back, its just that things are really out of hand and that the next time around i want everything to be right. a kind of love that i wont need to sacrifice half of my pride to be with somebody.

but good news...i am no longer emotionally constipated!!! hehehe! i feel like i am 16 again! i have a crush in the office, he is not an agent and he is not a supervisor. he is nice and he knows what he is talking about. ei, guys (friends who work from etelecare who read my blog---he is not "pekto"( my other crush)---just to set your expectations ok?

he seem to be a nice person and as i said he knows what he is talking about. he is very knowledgeable of the things in and out of the company. sometimes he would pass by and he would make me smile :) if you will be asking if he look good....hmmm... yes. he look good in a unique way. :) people have different standards as to how a person will be qualified as good looking right? to a certain standard he is handsome :) i know i am just wasting time babbling about a guy i cannot name (i cant! i'll be dead!).

questions that i usually ask these days:

1. will i be able to buy myself a ipod?
2. will the credit card company approved my application?3. will i get a 'decent' boyfriend?
4. am i gonna be stucked in working in a call center?
5.will i ever have my driver's license?
6. why does my life sucks?

2:55 AM